Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
