Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
