cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
