She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
