ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
