I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize