How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize