They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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