So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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