I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
