If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
