Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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