im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
