Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
