ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
