oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
