You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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