Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The power of my boobs compel you
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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