I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
