I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
