Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
