only if we run a train.
done.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize