your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
