I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
