that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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