Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
