What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
