Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
