Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
