Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I want her autograph on my taint
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
