Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
