I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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