hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
