The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
