i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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