If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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