one might say we're banned from that church
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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