At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize