I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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