Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
