Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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