found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I want to be your penis for a week.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
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