bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
