1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
