i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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