What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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