We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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