Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
