Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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