Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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