On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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