He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
