Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
