Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
