I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
