Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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