just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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