make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
