we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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