I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
