I wish I could teleport
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
